It takes a village to raise a child? I've seen this village and I DO not want it raising my child.
Whenever I've read people's reasons for homeschooling I always would read these stories of young school aged children being abused at school. The stories would anger me and I always said if I saw these things happening to my child I would take action and probably home school.
I have blogged about this 'friend' of my son's before. I know I can be an overprotective parent and I don't think that's a bad thing. I didn't want to over react to a few incidents, I believe in second chances, I know they are boys with energy and we all know boys do stupid things sometimes. I made the decision to keep abreast of their relationship and I asked Noah about it from time to time.
Yesterday my son came home from school with a big scratch starting just below his eye to just above his mouth. He told me his friend Carson did it. He said Carson thought he tripped a friend of his, which Noah denies, and Carson came up, grabbed him around the waist and used a sharp rock to scratch him.
Through more conversations with Noah yesterday he told me all these stories of how he gets tackled by this boy, how this boy is almost controlling him at recess. We are meeting with the principal today to talk about it.
I go through these arguments in my head. Should I pull him and home school him. I want him to learn how to handle conflict. He's not mature enough to handle this conflict, he needs our help and protection. On and on it goes....
I want to give the school a chance to handle it, Noah enjoys his other classmates, and there is only 3 months left. He is already so lonely and bored in this town that I don't want to uproot him. Any words of advice from my friends??
6 comments:
well, i have an opinion....you want reasons to pull him or you just want to know if I think you should? Yes, I think you should. You keep going back and forth on the homeschooling issue anyway so it's obviously on your heart quite a bit...that's for good reason. God does that...keeps giving us more and more reasons/outlets to follow in obedience. Girl...homeschooling is tough and frightening and looks likes this huge mountain but the rewards far outweigh the tough times. If your heart is leaning in that direction, take the plunge..pull him and rest in God's peace and wait for His blessing in your obedience. Also..it is our job to "shelter" and protect them...even from conflict. When they are ready to handle conflict and make godly decisions after we teach them and ground them...then they are ready for conflict! You can't avoid all conflict but don't throw your little lamb to the wolves just yet. I'm behind you whatever you do...your heart is for your kid and it's obvious!
I totally understand the circular logic and second-guessing. I think it's part of the territory with parenting.
My only thoughts are that it can't hurt to go through the "proper" channels to try and resolve this situation. Noah can learn some powerful lessons about solving problems and being assertive and possibly Carson can be brought into the care and instruction of responsible adults and be given a chance at learning better skills for handling conflict and misunderstanding. At least then, if the situation can't be resolved to your satisfaction... your choice to pull him out and homeschool is part of the Solution.
It crossed my mind that to just pull him out as a reaction to the conflict without trying to first solve it might leave a message behind that running from a problem is a good solution. (Which, sometimes it is! Just make sure that this is "that" time, KWIM??) But only you can be the judge of that.
That said, if what you really want is to homeschool -- for reasons of your own conviction -- by all means pull him out and just do it. :)
Not sure I conveyed my thoughts well on this. Bottom line? Follow your heart... pray... and just do what it is you think best in the context of the whole situation. You are a wise woman and a loving mother and whatever you decide will be the right thing cause it will come from a good place!
Jen- you are a wise woman and I appreciate your feedback!!! SO many of your points both my husband and I agree whole heartedly! My thoughts are so circular right now, I am praying, we both are.
Flutter- I agree with you about not running. I want this to get worked out, It's hard to relay through a post all that has been happening, or the small changes that I am seeing in Noah, plus my interest in homeschooling, but it's all tied together and something we are strongly looking at for the following year.
I have dreams for my kids, I want them to learn a certain way, I want them to get a strong grasp of our beliefs....etc... you know what I mean. Oh my thought are all over the place as you can see LOL.
I don't understand how the school didn't notice and/or contact you immediately. At our school, someone scratching another student (with a rock!) would be considered a serious offense/bullying, with a detention at the very least, and a possible suspension as well. I really like their zero tolerance.
At the very least, I'd make sure all the teachers know that your son and the offender should be separated at all times. Are there any other kids that you can encourage your son to hang out with or befriend?
wow... what decisions you face. i can't even offer advice. i can only say a prayer of gratitude for our school.
...and this only ads to my list of reasons why I am not a parent... Kudos to you parents raising children today, you are not commended enough, nor are you appreciated enough! Thank you to you parents who care and value the role of being parents and recognize the significance and impact you are making upon our world!
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