Intervention??

It's sad but true. I was able to kick the habit once, a few summers ago. I went through the with drawls of headaches, grumpiness and fatigue. After a few days I was free, and to be honest the smell of coffee turned me off big time. One major benefit was that I was loosing weight, probably due to the lack of coffee cream running through my cream coated arteries.
Knowing all these benefits why oh why did I fall off the wagon? It started slowly, once the colder weather started the idea of something warm and sweet slowly started to become appealing. It only took a couple of days and I was hooked and have been for a few years now.
I woke up this morning with a killer headache, I popped 3 advil and it took the edge off, but it was still lingering. I tried to hold out, tried to resist because I am pregnant and I know coffee isn't the best, but I caved. The lingering headache had me running to the coffee maker like a drug addict needs a hit. ( okay I know it isn't that bad, I am just trying to paint a picture) Anyhow my body is feeling in sync, my headache is gone and my stomach is full of coffee and cream. Will I ever kick this habit.

Cynical?

My husband has just opened a pharmacy in the city we live in. Due to the fact that this "City" - and I use the word LOOSELY, it's more of a village with a Walmart attached - is out of the way and not close to anything remotely appealing we are having a heck of a time finding pharmacists to want to move here.
We have been relying on relief pharmacists from surrounding towns, and sometimes provinces away to come work for short bouts of time. The one we had in this week was a real character- and I mean that is a strange/mentally unbalanced way. He had problems with having to ring customers with prescriptions through the till, thought it was beneath him. He had countless confrontations with front store staff, and when questioned it was always someone else's fault.
One morning he called us from the hotel he was at, cursing a blue streak saying he just about knocked the F*#@% manager's head off because they accused him of inviting staff into the hot tub.
Well due to so many confrontations, and corrections my husband finally told him it wasn't working and he had to go. We expected and scene and weren't disappointed.
This morning he called my husband to apologise for his actions stating that his 13 year old daughter has been missing since the day before he started working for us, and that he normally isn't this CRAZY~~~
Call me cynical, but I don't buy it. I am a parent, if my daughter was missing I would be glued my family awaiting her return.
So do you think I am cynical or is it maybe women's intuition??? I don't know, my husband is inclined to think it's true, but honestly what parent would take off for work in another province. He is a well to do guy, I don't think they are lacking for money. In my opinion he is trying to make excuses and put the blame somewhere else. Always the victim it seems.

Troubled

I have had this conversation with many people, this notion keeps running through my head. There are days I try to justify it, think I can limit it, yet I keep being drawn back to this idea. It's nothing deep and intellectual, it's about video games and the role they are playing with today's kids. Most importantly my kids.
I have to admit I like to indulge them, I don't watch our time limit and before you know it my 6 and 4 year old have been gaming for an hour at a time. I have become lethargic, slowly allowing 10 more minutes until hours slip by.
I often will tell my kids about what I used to do with my friends growing up. We were outside all the time. Bike riding, playing kick the can, making forts, just playing. I want that for my kids, and all I see most days is them on the T.V , computer or Nintendo. It's up to me I know, I know it is.
We have been going back and forth about getting our son a D.S. I fought it, but he loves it, and there are educational games, we travel alot and it's something for him to do on those long drives.
Tonight my little 4 year old had another migraine, I try to think about what may be triggering these painful, awful headaches that have him crying, clammy, and vomiting. I often wonder if it's the video games, all the flashing lights,and fast movement.
After a night like tonight I think that for what a Nintendo D.S is worth one could sure buy a lot of toys. Toys that trigger imagination, play and movement. I want my kids to have a childhood full of fantasy, using their minds and bodies to role play. I feel like they are being robbed of that and it bothers me.
I am disturbed tonight.

Women's Work

This is one scene from a movie that totally undoes me EVERY TIME!


Post a clip or write about a movie that has impacted you.

My Miso

Every Wednesday my boys head to a local church for a kids club. And as much as I love the fact that they are learning about God and memorizing some scripture, I really love that my husband and I have a date night every Wednesday. We don't have to arrange for a sitter, everything is covered.
Tonight we decided to go to a Japanese restaurant for a quiet supper. The food was wonderful and plentiful. The conversation was relaxed and best of all no interruptions from two little boys.
So that was my night, and after a few hours alone with my honey, two doggy bags full of great food, I was ready to rejoin the chaos that is my life.

Ok... 6 things I'm hooked on!

#1 I'm hooked on my husband. I know it sounds soooo cheesy, but unfortunately it's true. I seem to have become more co-dependant on him as the years go by. I don't feel 'normal' when I'm away from him, I miss him even after a day. A-hem.. let's move on.
#2 My kids of course. They drive me C.R.A.Z.Y almost on a minute by minute basis, but their my 'little treasures' and I'd be rather ordinary without them.
#3 Reality T.V. Especially the ones that no one wants to admit they watch. The Hills, Bachelor, Life of Ryan ect.. it's a guilty pleasure.
#4 Flip Flops. Need I say more??
#5 Hot n'Spicy food. I love unique, zesty, mouthwatering food. Especially West Indian and Thai... bring it on baby!
#6 Sangria. I love Sangria, especially from a certain restaurant in a particular city. Love it.

Welcome back!

You know who this is for. Welcome Back.

I'm bored!!

Need I say more? I am husband-less for the next while, I miss my man.

Make a Smilebox photobook

Sukkot 2008

This Sukkot is extra special for me this year. This year we actually have our own Sukkah to dwell in for the next 7 days. Due to circumstances of the previous years we always borrowed other people's sukkah's to 'dwell' in for a quick meal, but not this year.

What a lovely thing it is to watch your children play, eat and hang out in our own Sukkah. I believe we all will understand just a little more about Sukkot this year, what it means to remember the temporary dwelling that the Israelites dwelt in while in the dessert. So here are some pics of our first night of Sukkot!!

Turn, Turn, Turn

This has been a season of change in our family. New job, new city, upcoming baby, another new job... the list goes on and on. Life seems to constantly be changing, evolving Some days ,as I am exhaling, I think when has enough change happened, can't we just be still.
I have seen families torn apart, lost family members, heard of children dying, witnessed people whom I thought I knew acting in ways unbecoming. Daily another change comes, a big change, and I am tired.

You know what they say about life handing you LEMONS!

We started out with good intentions. We were bored and wanted to see something interesting, to do something fun. We all jumped into the mini van, packed out water and camera and headed out on our adventure.
Now we were told the general direction, nothing to concrete, but we felt we had a good idea where our destination was. We were told it would take about 45 min. A nice little jaunt, definitely worth the gas money for an afternoon adventure.
Around our neck of the woods there are supposedly some sand hills,you can sled down and explore. It has quite a reputation of being something worth while seeing.
After an hour and a half of driving, having seen absolutely no signs we decided enough was enough. The landscape around us was all green and flat so we knew we were way off.
The boys were really disappointed and I really needed to use the bathroom. I finally commanded my dear hubby to pull over as soon as possible because my bladder was screaming at me.
We pulled off the highway and drove down the dirt road, finally finding a spot that one could relieve herself without the curious stares of onlookers. We pulled up to a place with mounds of dirt, huge mounds, some were sand, some rock, some coal.
They boys loved it, so after taking care of business we explored and had a great time playing on our own sand hills.
We all left happy and content, especially the kids with no complaints about us getting lost.

Cousins

I have so many memories of my cousins. We travelled together to spend the summer holidays at our grandparents house. All day we would be out roaming the tiny town, trying to collect enough pop bottles to earn us some treats at the local candy store.
We played for countless hours at the local elementary school. Games like, mother may I, Red light green light and hide n'seek. We would spin ourselves on the merry go-round until we were just about puking. So much fun.
Christams and Easter were spent together, nothing like looking at our grandparents Christmas Tree, brimming with so many gifts you couldn't even reach out to touch the tree if you tried. The excitement of having your family around, cousins whom you barely see, to spend such a wonderful time with.
If we were the family to arrive first at our destination we would wait with nervous energy and anticipation, looking for their old buick to turn down out street.
Cousins, kids you share your life with, build your memories with, and share your family with.
Recently I spent a little time with my brother and his kids. Our boys were so excited to see their cousins again. They played hard, laughed hard and built some more memories together.
My prayer for these cousins is that they continue to play, to laugh, and to bond closer and closer. I love you guys!!




"Cousins are those childhood playmates who grow up to be forever friends."

My crazy kid

It is almost a nightly routine for us, my oldest comes out of his room complaining he can't sleep. We usually allow him some quiet time in his room to calm his thoughts and settle down. On this particular night as he was in his room having some quiet time I slowly opened the door and this is what I came across.




Noah has this thing about standing on his head, as you can see :O)
A priceless moment!

Thankful

It's sad that it takes loss and hardship to wake us up, to shake us from the running of everyday life, to slow down and remember what we Do have. It's easy to get negative, to grumble and complain about the dog dragging in dirt, the kids acting up, the husband who leaves his underwear on the bathroom floor, the mountain of dirty dishes that you chip away at daily, yet never get caught up on. Yes the list could go on and on, and we each have our lists.
Someone very close to me is going through a separation. He often talks about missing his children, how he keeps their bedroom doors closed because it's too painful to walk pass because they aren't in them, and when he does venture in it's to smell their pillows. This is truly heartbreaking loss. As we were speaking today, my little guys came to me and whispered that they wanted to make a volcanoe and would I help. I shushed them and asked them to wait because I was on the phone talking. (Now they had interrupted me a few times already so my patience was at a low) upon resuming my conversation I stated I should go and my brother said, 'hey at least your kids are with you.'
That phrase has been running through my head, reminding me to be thankful they are here, that we are at the stage in life that we are in.
So I am trying to put aside the frustrations of life as a stay at home mom to two boys and a dirty puppy. To over look the underwear in the bathroom, and to happily chip away at the dishes.

"The Heart of Marriage is Memories." Bill Cosby

July 10,2008 was my 9 year wedding anniversary. I can be fairly nostalgic when it comes to momentous occasions in my life. I always look back and ask myself what I was doing at this exact time on that specific date. In keeping with that tradition I looked back on the July 10th, 1999 and here are my memories.
I remember waking up, smiling, knowing that today was my wedding day. I then recalled what had happened the night before when my ladies informed me that we were having a murder mystery party. I was told to dress as my character for the mystery party which was a loose gal with lots of makeup and a short skirt. I complied, a little nervous wondering why I was the only one getting into character, being assured they would all change once we arrived at my friends I went along. I should have known better, my closest gal pals then took me to Earl's ( a hip bar) they taped a sign to my back announcing I was a bride to be and paraded me around the bar. (Ah.. good memories)
I remember being at the hairdressers and holding back the tears as she turned me around to see my reflection in the mirror, after that moment passed one of horror replaced it as I realized I had worn a tighter, pull over your heard t-shirt. Thank goodness for my wonderful maid of honor who contorted that shirt every which way to fit over my fancy do'... thanks Tanya!
Upon arriving at the church my soon to be mother-in law informed me that the ring bearer's tux didn't fit ( leave it to my hubby not to have all his guys try things on a day before the wedding-PUNCH) So as we waited for the Best man to race back to the church with a proper tux for the ring bearer all I could focus on was seeing my man-Jay.
When those doors swung open and we finally made eye contact I saw a look come across his face that I hadn't seen before, and since that time have only seen 2 times after. It was a look of deep emotion, appreciation and LOVE. It is the same look I've seen at the birth of our sons. It's a look I will never forget.
After exchanging vows, promising to love each other through the good and bad. We were finally man and wife.
So these are my memories of this day, our special day. These are the thoughts I reflect on when our Anniversary comes along every year. These are the memories I will carry and reflect upon on all our years to come.

7 Questions..

1) What is the 1st thing you do in the morning?~I wake up to the sound of a puppy crying, I race to get dressed, get her out before she dribbles on my WHITE carpet.
2) Your most vivid memory as a child?~I had a friend named Shannon Hart, we played together all day throughout the summer. I remember how much we made each other laugh. She had an old rope swing that hung in front of her house, we use to play on that swing, making each other laugh so hard we peed our pants. We usually had to change clothes a few times a day we laughed so hard.
3) What are you most grateful for?~I am grateful for a happy marriage. I married a man who was my best friend for 7 years prior to us taking our vows. Our friendship and our love has gotten us through some VERY trying time.
4) What hobby would you like to take up?~Photography.
5) Bangs or no bangs?~Side bangs.... for now.
6) Would you ever get a Brazilian???~The thought of someone putting hot wax, then ripping the hot wax off my most tender spot.. hmmmm let me think. NO!
7) What makes you smile?~ My sleepy little sons, snuggling me in the morning...little boy morning breath and all :O)

Hallelujah

I came across this song on You Tube and thought it was beautiful, especially the way these guys sang it. Hope you enjoy.....

Letting go....

I am sitting in silence, thoughts are running through my head. I want to know what thoughts are appropriate to write, to share with whomever reads this thing. It almost feels like a death, yet it's not, maybe it's worse because there is no conclusion, no finality. We are all waiting, hoping and in all honesty knowing that it's over.
A tearing has taken place, and we are all feeling the effects. Saying goodbye to a friend that you've shared your life with, laughed with and confided in is hard.
I don't know what else to say, this is where I am on my journey with this situation.
I wish you well, I wish you whole. I'm letting go...

"and when we pass through stony ground I'll gladly walk upon my knees."

Pardon Me

I go through these times when I have nothing to say really. It's like that uncomfortable lull in a conversation that makes you want to make like a bee and buzz off. I'm trying to fight through it, I'm racking my brain trying to make an effort to find SOMETHING to write about. I have little idea's here and there going through my mind, nothing that I could write paragraphs about. I have decided to share those random thoughts, I cannot promise any type of a cohesive thought process, just consider this some thought flatulence. Here goes...

1. I have decided to make a concerted effort to go green. I am getting rid of the chemical in my house, being conscious of our waste, recycling and teaching my kids the importance of taking care of our beautiful earth.
2. My dirt heap of a backyard is consuming my thoughts. I am wondering how to landscape it, what flowers I want and where to put them. My mom has a nice color combo going on with purple pansy's and little pink roses- I may duplicate it.
3. We may be getting our pup at the end of June, and we have decided on the shepherd which I am fine with. I am mentally trying to prepare myself for what it will be like. I know there will be accidents, and a few rough nights and as of right now I feel OK with that. I keep telling myself it's like having a new born, it's rough and messy but I know this too shall pass and the enjoyment will far outweigh the messy times. :o)
4. To home school or not??? (whine) I don't know. Anyway that's a whole new topic.
5. Good ole weight loss... blah another topic I am feeling slapped around by.
6. Camping- we are considering doing it the old fashioned way, we would be sleeping in one of those nylon-y things, I believed pronounces t-en-t. Should be interesting.

You know I feel much better now. The gas pains in my mind have eased off after having released some much needed thoughts.
Toodles~