It's starting to set in..

I am starting to get freaked out about labour. I have done it twice before, I know it's not a joy ride. I am not one of those lucky three women in the world, who I've read about, that had an orgasmic labour mine are painful, exhausting and scary just as I am sure yours have been.
With my first I was terrified because I had never experienced it before. All I know is I wanted the pain to go away any way possible. The epidural did that for me and for that I will be eternally grateful.
Just before giving birth the second time I came across an article pretty much stating that fear is where the real pain comes from. Your body gets tense and won't relax, and when that happens the contraction become more painful. They advised seeing the contraction as a large muscle that is being worked at hard like when your at the gym. It's your muscles doing their job to push the baby out.
That article was stuck in my head and I really believe it helped me during the second labour as I could visualize this large muscle working hard to push out the baby.
Even knowing all this panic is starting to set in. Labour is definitely on my mind but it's all the changes that will come after. No sleep... AUGH! I have had wonderful full night rests for years, how am I going to handle little to no sleep again??
How am I going to handle 3 kids? Will I be horrible to the other two older kids as I am adjusting to being a mom to a newborn again?
I know I am complaining....I feel bad about it, but these thoughts really overtake me sometimes. I feel so over being pregnant. I didn't have the aches and pains like I have experienced with this baby. Tonight I was trying to clean up the kitchen, I had shooting, sharp pains in my lower back and leg so I crawled into bed with a hot water bottle. When my husband came to find me I started crying because I am so frustrated with my body. We have been living on hamburger and pasta because I have constant contractions when I am grocery shopping and I can't get a full grocery.
Sorry, I am feeling whipped tonight I guess. Sometimes you just have to vent and lucky you guys get to be my audience. Sorry.
I'm sure I'll feel better tomorrow.

The Love Dare

I had watched a review of 'Fireproof' on Dr.Phil this past summer. I would venture to say that once I realized Kirk Cameron was the lead actor in the show, and that it had a religious element to it, I sort of disregarded it. I had seen previous work by Kirk Cameron in the Left Behind series and wasn't too impressed. I thought this show would be poorly acted and maybe a bit cheesy.
I was pleasantly surprised at how much I enjoyed the movie. I laughed and cried and felt convicted while watching this struggle that went on between a man and his wife. The selfishness and bitterness that had festered in this relationship had me looking at myself, wondering where I might harbour the same feelings.
No marriage is perfect and sometimes it's so easy to keep record of the other persons rights and wrongs. To see what is lacking, all the short comings can be all we focus on, and yes some grievances are legitimate and maybe some of his are also.
I think what I really learned from this show is in the end disappointments will come in life. People will always let us down in one way or the other, spouses included. It's so easy to let arguments take over, issues about who did what to whom and why, we can go around in circles asking ourselves how did we get here, how do we get off this merry go round of accusation and find a solution? How do we find peace?
This movie points out that to give love, we first have to receive love from God. To know that we are loved in our weakest state, to know there is forgiveness for all our mistakes.I'm not a preacher, I'm not trying to preach, but I feel like I had a bit of a revelation tonight.
My marriage has it's ups and downs, things can feel overwhelming sometimes, finger pointing happens and it never solves anything because whether it be the next day, the next week or in a few weeks I will disappoint my husband yet again, and he me. At which point do we start our finger pointing yet again, have another argument, yet again? It's exhausting and futile.
Perhaps not going to that place of judgement and instead walking in understanding and forgiveness. To crush down that first instinct to become offended and defensive to embrace loving that person. Wow even writing this is hard because it so goes against what some of my first instincts are. Maybe that's a good thing....
Have I reached a new level of Zen in my life?? HARDLY!! This will be going against myself in such a harsh way I may have a half chewed up tongue from biting it so hard when all I want to do is assert myself and my rights to my spouse.
All I know is finger pointing, and listing off eachther's faults and shortcomings isn't working. Maybe walking in love, working it out with forgiveness sprinkled with a healthy portion of grace will work.
Fireproof is a movie worth watching, the acting isn't the best, but it has one of the best messages I've seen in a movie in a very long time.
Here is a trailer for the movie...

Quotes of the day..

"Grow up and be a man, stop hurting the woman who loves you."
"Dig deep, grow the hell up, and be in this relationship"

Private Practice had some good ones tonight.

Breastfeeding

Today as I was watching TLC's Bringing Home Baby show they showed the mother breastfeeding her baby. This little baby is nestled up close to it's mother, big brown eyes looking up while he's suckling and the mother is rubbing his face and head. What a beautiful picture.
With my first baby I was so insecure about breastfeeding, as I am sure most new mother's are. I had so many friends that talked about THE NIGHT thier milk came in, how it was squirting across the room, how their young babies were choking on the heavy flow of this creamy milk. I never had that experience, and because I never did I didn't trust my body that it was making enough. I ended up suplimenting and eventually my oldest son soon learned that milk comes instantly from a bottle where as with mommy I have to work to get it to come. At four young months old my first born was done breastfeeding. Oh I tried to get him back on, and after many days of trying he and I were both crying and frustrated. I was so sad to say good bye to that special time, it was so hard at first, so painful and after all that effort we were done.
With my second I went in a bit more confident. I actually do remember THE MORNING when my milk came in, I actually was wet all down my PJ's. I remember sighing a sigh of relief thinking that this is how I now know my milk is in. I ended up breastfeeding my son for 2 years. I was amazed it went that long, I actually thought that if I can make it to at least six months this time I will feel like I'd succeeded.
My second child caught on quick, I was more confident and I wasn't feeling too tied down with him wanting to nurse for that long of a time. Eventually, I believe it was right after he turned 2 years old, he was done. Again I was a little sad, mostly ready myself for independace, but I knew I would miss it and I did. But life goes on as it should.
Now preparing for my third child to be born within a few months I feel the desire coming back, a longing for that sort of bonding experience with my new baby. In my opinion there is nothing more special then that little body so close, making eye contact and just being there to enjoy to experience.
Let me also say I am not looking forward to cracked nipples, again, maybe mastitis, feeding the child every hour around the clock, oh man I am psyching myself out now. I know it's hard, but maybe just like child birth and all the pain and labouring we do to bring forth new life, we do forget and we do it again, and we think of it as the greatest day of our lives is the way I view breastfeeding.
Now let me add I know breastfeeding isn't for everyone. Some choose not to, some find it too difficult, inverted nipples, ect... At the end of the day we all bond with our babies whether it's by breastfeeding or bottle feeding. I am just saying for me it was a positive thing for my family, and I am looking forward to it again.

Good Fences Make Good Neighbours

In the past there seemed to be an ongoing theme in most of my friendships, I was the one who listened while everyone talked and dumped out all their feelings or problems to me. I have read books about this and had some council on this from valued older friends who gave great advice, especially my husband. Realizing now that I don't have to solve, or try to solve people's problems I feel like I may have gone from being a doormat to steering clear of people that seem to have no filter.
The last crazy 'friendship' I had that was from a girl who I had met once before, we seemed to hit it off so we decided to go for coffee together. She ended up pouring out her marital problems, crazy religious experiences, you get the picture. I ended up coming home feeling totally drained and sick. My husband went on to tell me to end it immediately. So I avoided her and I think she got the picture, finally.
I sometimes feel like I have the words 'dump here' tattooed on my forehead.
Anyway I have tried to steer clear of those relationships and I feel like the girlfriends in my life now are great and we share things back and forth. I love my girlfriends (NO this is not about any of you guys).
Recently I have come across a new relationship with a lady here in my town, she has been very helpful to me since we've come here, but she is completely draining! She talks and talks and doesn't stop. We go from hearing one problem to the next, there are times when she has forgotten what she told me an hour earlier and will go on to explain the whole thing again. I feel frustrated by her, I dread when she calls me because I know what the conversation is going to be like and for how LONG it will be.
I don't want to hurt her feelings, she's a nice lady, but come on, I don't have enough hours in the day to sit and listen to someone ranting and raving, nor do I want to sit and be dumped on.
We are planning to go out for coffee this week, as you can tell I am not looking forward to it, I will just have to man up and try to control the conversation as best as I can.
I'm frustrated.....

Small Successes

I came across this idea from another Blogger's site. I've tweaked it a bit to make it my own and to fit my idea of what I want to write about. Gratitude Friday is about writting about the small success we as moms have had throughout the week. To focus on the positive little things we've accomplished. Here are my 3 small successes:

1. Decorated the house for Valentine's Day. It is important to me to make certain day's fun and exciting for the kids so they'll have memories to look back on with a smile. I plastered pink and red hearts on our windows, made them surprise Valentine's Day buckets full of chocolates and small toys. It is even more fun for me to do something fun/a little embarrasing for my husband so I put together an adult fun bag just for us!!

2. I made all our meals from scratch this week. Being pregnant and feeling tired alot of the time the temptation to eat out more then we should is a constant battle of mine. This week I was able to push past the fatigue and cook some homeade meals, 2 of which were fish, now that NEVER happens.

3. We've been fairly consistent in our before bed devotionals with the boys. Most nights I am counting down the minutes till their sweet, argumentative heads hit the pillows. Fortunately, or maybe unfortunately , I have two little male voices constantly reminding me that we HAVE to do devotionals as a family before bed. So I throw my agenda to the side and we do devotionals, and we love doing it! :O)

These are my small succcesses for the week, and I'm proud of them. I'd love to hear yours if you feel like writing about it!

Sillyness

Yes I am a little stumped as to what to blog about today, this is just for fun. If you want to be tagged go ahead and do it, let me know. Cheers!

1. YOUR REAL NAME: sorry, this is the web after all....
2. WITNESS PROTECTION NAME:(mother and fathers middle names): Josephine Gerard
3. NASCAR NAME:(first name of your mother's dad, father's dad): Joseph Raymond
4. STAR WARS NAME:(the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name): Jobjo
5. DETECTIVE NAME:(favorite color, favorite animal): Olive Kitty
6. SOAP OPERA NAME:(middle name, town where you were born): Dawn Regina
7. SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd fav color, fav drink, add "THE" to the beginning): The Blue Margarita
8. FLY NAME:(first 2 letters of 1st name, last 2 letters of your last name): Jose
9. STREET NAME:(fav ice cream flavor, fav cookie): Chocolate Ginger Snaps
10. SKANK NAME: (1st pet's name, street you grew up on): Gin-Gin James
11. GANGSTA NAME:(first 3 letters of first name plus 'izzle'): Jodizzle!
12. YOUR GOTH NAME:(black, and the name of one of your pets): Black Willow
13. STRIPPER NAME: (name of your fav perfume/cologne, fav candy): Moondance Turtles

A Milestone of Sorts... I Suppose

Yesterday my husband came home from work, gave me the once over and made a comment only a husband would make.
" I can tell you are getting far along in your pregnancy because the size of your tummy actually makes your huge boobs look small." Thanks hon, REAL sweet! :O)
Just for clarification, my breasts may be bigger then before kids, we all know that happens, but let's just say my body has been a bit overly generous with fat distribution in that area over the last few years. Something I hope exercise and perhaps a 'boob job' will rectify. Oh to go back to a B cup... lovely.

Catch Up Weekend

This past weekend some old friends of ours came for a visit. It has been years since I've seen them, although my husband has had more opportunities to visit them then I.
Sometime ago, due to our differences in belief, a strain had been put on the relationship. I was over zealous in sharing my thoughts and my friend became offended. I had apologised but truly things were never quite the same since. We recently reconnected via email. She had actually wrote me in a bit of a confrontational manner asking if we wanted them out of their lives. Long story short there had been some miscommunication over the Internet and feelings were unintentionally hurt. (can you imagine miscommunication over email... NEVER)
Because of all the drama that had gone on this weekend was important because both of our families wanted to come together and reconnect.
We ended up having a great time, lots of talking and catching up and it feels like time has never passed really. We still have our differences and they are very obvious, but I think we've both mellowed out and realized it isn't worth debating any longer.
Our kids got along so nicely so we will be doing this again once our baby is born. Here are a few pics of the kids having fun.

From the Mouths of Babes

You have to wonder if God is trying to teach you a lesson. Maybe, or shall I say quite probably, I am too busy with my busyness that I don't take the time to be quiet and reflect on what I am doing. Maybe that still small voice that is attempting to capture my attention is being blocked out by the T.V, computer, what have you I suppose you get my drift.
Tonight as I am trying to be a fun mommy, I decided to take my boys out to dinner. As we were driving I was behind an older gentleman driver, and if I can put it nicely, was taking his sweet time. So I made a rather rude comment, something along the lines of, "C'mon grandpa, pick it up."
My youngest then asks me if I love my neighbour? I kind of know what he's talking about but I go ahead and ask him what he means. My oldest son pipes up and tells me it's about loving people. (punch in the gut!) My youngest then quotes a Bible verse to me about loving your neighbour as yourself. So as I continue driving feeling like a total schmuck my youngest goes on to tell me, in his sweet little voice, that I wasn't being very nice to that older man.
Feeling like I had been thoroughly been put in my place I told them they were right and I shouldn't be rude because the Bible tells us to treat others how we want to be treated.
This is one lesson I won't soon forget.

A Lovely Night

As I have mentioned I just turned 34, wow, honestly when I was 20 years old 34 seemed like middle age. So naive I was... I really feel quite young or I did until getting pregnant. This pregnancy is showing me my age, I have aches and pains I don't remember having with my other two. All in all though I feel like I am entering the best part of my life. To think of going back to my early 20's holds absolutely no appeal to me, all the angst and drama of trying to figure out life and who I am, no thanks. Been there, done that, have the battle scars to prove it.
This year my husband took it upon himself to plan my birthday celebration all on his own. He ended up getting us a reservation at a very nice steak house, invited my parents and we had a great time. Then came my present!! For years I have talked about photography and possibly taking a class so I could get better. Well considering we were students any camera was pretty much a luxury we couldn't afford, especially a high quality one. He kept the notion in his head that one day we may be able to afford one and that is exactly what I received. A beautiful Sony camera along with an extra lens. This camera is quite a beauty and I am excited to use it, except I don't really know how to yet. The manual and I have a date for tonight.
Jay, thank you for a fun, exciting night that I will always remember. I should also thank my boys for behaving pretty good in a swanky restaurant, it was refreshing not to have to seperate them or threaten them with bodily harm if the whinning doesn't stop. :O)

Random Act of Kindness

Melissa used to be my sons preschool teacher. She was wonderful and loved working with the children. A few months into the school year she suddenly decided to stop working at the preschool for some very personal reasons. We were all so sad to hear that she wouldn't be around anymore as the kids really loved and missed her, but wished her well.
A few months after she left my husband told me she had come by the pharmacy looking for work. She ended up telling him why she left the preschool and that she feels ready to try something completely new. She was placed in the cosmetics dept. and is a wonderful employee for us now!!
We have run into each other quite a bit and she always asks how my little guy is doing in preschool. I tell her it's not the same, and we really aren't too happy with it in general. Upon hearing that she one night turned up at my house with all her Montessori manuals, she also had written out a bunch of work book ideas to do with my youngest to keep him going with where she left off. This girl is a real sweetheart.
One night as we were out for supper I commented to her how good she smelt and asked what perfume she was wearing. She told me and said she thought it may be discontinued which was too bad because she really like it also.
This morning before my husband left for work he said Melissa gave me a gift for you. So I went into his bag to retrieve it, and it was a new bottle of that perfume. I was and am so shocked! I will be calling her later to thank her for being so kind to me.
I have some perfume on now and I'm loving how it smells, and every time I smell this scent I will remember her and her thoughtfulness.

25 Things you may not know about me....

The lovely Flutter tagged me on facebook so I am responding to her tag, here goes...

1) Today is my birthday, I am 31..okay just kidding, I'm 34 (yikes)
2) I used to write poetry and I was asked to publish a piece many moons ago.
3) I was mugged when I was overseas, thankfully he dropped my wallet while he was running away and I grabbed it... JERK!
4) I can flip my eyelids.. it's kinda gross and cool all at once.
5) I had to have both 2nd toes operated on because the bone was growing wrong.
6) I was once put on the wrong city bus by my grandpa when I was 5 and ended up downtown in our city when I was supposed to be at my school.
7) I fell out of a moving vehicle when I was a kid, I was wanting to open the door before we came to a stop so I could be the first one out before my brother... I guess it worked. :O)
8) I was run over when I was 1 year old. Obviously I survived.
9) I stole a Raggedy Ann ring from a store when I was 6.
10) I used to be obsessed with Josh Brolin.
11) I play guitar.
12) When I am nervous I will pick at my fingers.
13) I used to want to be a Pink Lady, you know from Greece.
14) I watched the movie Sybil when I was a kid and it freaked me out for years.
15) I used to sneak out of my room and run around with my friends in our town.
16) While dating my one boyfriend I secretly had a major crush on his older brother and used any excuse to be around him.
17) I've swam in the Red Sea.
18) I enjoy crafty things.
19) I have a third nipple.... just kidding, making sure your paying attention here.
20) I love white tulips.
21) I used to work in a flower shop.
22) I prefer my toenails painted.'
23) I like popping zits... gross I know.
24) I wish I was brave enough to get a Brazilian.
25) I wish I had something interesting to blog about tonight.

So I am officially tagging Cocotte, and Waugdai!

Kicking Procrastination in the Butt

We have been doing home renovations and while it has been nice to see the improvements and new colors appear a great mess has been left in it's wake. Our living room has become a sort of dumping ground of nic naks, magazines, tools and old furniture. It has been stressing me out for a few weeks now. I keep telling myself that on the weekend we will get it cleaned up, yet the weekend comes and goes and the junk remains.
Now knowing myself like I do I decided something had to be done. I called a couple of friends to come over for coffee, with their children, first thing in the morning. Now these are friends that I am slowly getting to know, they aren't the kind that drop in, see the house a mess, and still know your a good person. No, these friends are the kind you want to make an impression on, to keep the facade going that you can keep a wonderfully clean house all the time, no problem.
So as I said knowing myself as I do I knew this is the ONLY thing that would kick my procrastination in the butt and make me attack it. So I have attacked, it's not perfect but in the rooms where my friends will be it looks pretty darn good. Now let's hope they don't go into unmarked areas as they may be in for a shock, I promise I will get to those room on the weekend! :O)

Art Appreciation

My husband loves classical music. He especially loves Opera. Usually after a long, stressful day he will take some time to sit, be quiet and listen to some of his favorite artists. Now this is something I have grown to enjoy over time, and there has been many a night that I have fallen asleep to Pavarotti playing lightly, there is nothing more relaxing.
We have wanted to instill a love for the arts into our children. While surfing on youtube the other day my husband found a little piece that captivated our youngest boy.
Hope you enjoy it...

Is the Grass Greener?

After about one week of warmer temperatures this sudden cold snap that we are experiencing is like a punch in the gut with a big "gotcha" attached to it. For some ridiculous reason the warmer weather had me thinking about spring, excited for all the plans we have for our dirt heap of a backyard. It had me thinking about green grass, a new baby, birds and travel. Well as I said reality was like a cold, harsh slap in the face. Winter is here and still going strong.
Considering the place where I live, and the frigid weather there was nothing to do today but stay huddled up inside racking our brains about what to do to pass the day. There is one conversation I know, without a doubt, that I will be having and it's my husband trying to talk me into possibly moving to a more human climate.
It's funny, as I braced myself for this talk the regular feeling of my back going up, my argument of sticking close to home for family, that this part of Canada is one we are familiar with didn't leave my chapped, almost blue lips.
It almost took me back for a moment. Ever since we've moved to our little town, away from family and close friends, I have been trying to persuade my hubby that moving back at some point would be the best thing for us. I'm not sure I feel that way anymore.
Nothing crazy has happened in our family that makes me want to not live near them. When I really think about it I think it has been a good thing for us to be away. I figure if I can live and survive here, moving someplace further away and warmer would be alright.
So for most of the morning we cuddled together on the couch, hot coffee in hand and researched a few places here in the great north that indeed do have mild winters, hot summers and early springs.
A few areas have jumped out at us and we are looking at taking a road trip this summer to check out the city and surrounding area. A road trip with 2 boys and a 4 month old should be interesting, but we are looking at renting a house for the week once we get there. I am looking forward to it, and looking forward to seeing if the grass is greener.

10 Things

A few years back, as I was watching Oprah, she had on some mature women who are choosing to age gracefully. These women talked about the pressures to stay thin and beautiful, to do whatever it takes to maintain that.
Oprah then went on to ask them if they could give one piece of advise to their younger self what would it be? So here are the 10 things I would tell my younger self.

1) Nurture the friendships you have, make them a priority in your life. Boys will come and go but your girlfriends are for life. Or they can be if you treat them right.

2) Forget the tanning beds. Wrinkles will come whether you believe it or not, so protect your skin.

3) Enjoy your time being a kid and teenager. Once you have passed that time there is no going back. Soon enough there will be a husband, children, and bills. So enjoy where you are at.

4) Surround yourself with people who make you feel good about yourself and what your doing. I remember all to well some so called 'friends' and they did nothing but make you feel bad about yourself.

5) Be kind to those you normally wouldn't think of associating with. Words hurt and that person is someone's child.

6) Continue on with your healthy habits and continue on in sports because it is a great deal more difficult to try to establish those healthy habits as an adult.

7) Don't start drinking coffee. Teeth loose their luster and your pearly whites WILL fade to a soft yellow.

8) Actually try in school. I don't regret all the fun, I don't even regret skipping class to go have some fun. Maybe try to keep a balance with it all.

These next two are to my young married self, man did we make mistakes, too many to count, but here are two pieces of advice I would want to pass on.

9) Travel and have adventures together before the kids come. Once they are here it's so much more difficult. Even if you can find reliable people to watch them, your heart is always back home wondering if things are alright.

10) Love isn't always a feeling. It's not butterflies, soft kisses and tender moments. (although it sure starts off that way) Love is seeing that person acting like a jack-ass and even though thinking to yourself at the time, 'what a moron' you can still go later and grab their hand and ask how their day was. Love is a constant, it's the liking part that goes up and down. Try to know the difference.

So my question is what would you tell your former self, given your life experiences. Look forward to reading the results.

Our little dance...

Tonight my husband and I had a little tiff, so I left him in the basement to stew for a while. Usually when this happens one of us will come with a piece offering. Tonight was my turn to wave the white flag, so I downloaded one of our songs that we used to listen to, and probably made out to, when we were dating. I quietly sat at the top of the stairs, laptop on my lap and blasted the song for him to hear. Of course it was a mushy song about love and loss. Next thing I know he is chuckling and calling for me to come down. Of course I play coy and ignore him, he continued calling me until I finally relented.
After grabbing my hand and playfully teasing me I forgave him for being such a brute earlier, and he maybe forgave me for telling him to pipe it and maybe the words 'mouth piece' were uttered in there... it's not important. *ahem* Moving on, we got over it, laughed about it, and will probably do it again in a week or so.

Many Firsts

I have to confess this pregnancy has been and I am sure will continue to be so different then the others. I attribute it to the 'fact' that I am having a baby girl. (fingers crossed) As I have sat and pondered this pregnancy and as the days go by and new symptoms appear I can't help but notice the differences.
I have had serious morning sickness with this baby. I have tried to get off the meds and I pay for that in the morning, so I have resigned myself to taking meds until birth-day.
I have NO bladder control with this pregnancy. I have to change at least once a day because I wasn't quick enough to cross my legs as a sneeze or cough came on. I can't tell you how frustrating it is to be all dressed and fresh and almost out the door when "a- achoo" hits, I am running to the bathroom and fishing for new underclothes. I am sooooooo over that!
I am quite, oh how shall we say this tactfully, "Randy Baby" Yes I must confess this time around I am actually in the mood. I don't know why ( 0f course my husband is wonderful and handsome) but he was with the other two also and at that time me and sex didn't go together. This is one first my hubby is happy, happy about!
Now this next one just appeared about 3 days ago. As I am sitting down for what feels like the first time that day, I ask my husband to pull off my socks because I can't really reach them. So when I glance down at my badly in need of a pedicure feet I realize I have NO ankle. My husband kindly refers to my tree stumps as 'kankles' I don't know what it means, I am sure it's rude though. Anyway I have swollen feet and calves. It has been 3 days now and they look brutal. I called a friend of mine to complain and so she can tell me all about the support socks she had just a few short months ago with her pregnancy. As I am relying my story and how ugly I feel and fed up, she tells me she had her compression stockings prescribed by her doctor because she had varicose veins all over from the waist down. Now when I say all over, I mean ALL over, you know what I am saying right, even in the nether regions. Poor girl. She did recommend them though so I am off tomorrow to get them.
There have been many firsts with this pregnancy, and I am trying to keep my head on straight about it, to laugh it off knowing it's only for a season. I am telling myself to enjoy all these firsts because it probably is your last kick at the can.

What is this at the bottom of the Barrel?

I'm scrapping, I know, but I don't have anything to write about and I feel like posting so here it is.


As of late my baby has been moving, alot. Of course I am only in my 28th week so the movements you just witnessed I am no where near. Watching this video, seeing that the only thing preventing this baby from reaching out to touch someone is a layer of skin. Kind of crazy.
It kind of reminds me of those old sci-fi movies where the implanted alien baby is ready to break out and take over the world.
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FYI if you think you may want to rent the movie 'Step Brothers' with Will Ferrel- DON'T!! It is really rude, excessive swearing, I think an actual set of testicles is shown (gross). Honestly it tragically contrived and lame. Two BIG thumbs down!
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It's becoming more real, apart from my weight gain, and what looks like a beach ball in front, I realize this baby is coming. Today we set up my son's loft bed, put a mattress underneath it for my youngest son, transferred all the toys and 'junk' and it's done. The crib is put together, I know it's early but we didn't even know if we had all the parts so we wanted to make sure. The new stroller/car seat is in her room. All that is left to do is paint, and make sure it's a girl by begging for another ultrasound from my doctor.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- So that's it in a nut shell.

From Afar

I am not sure how I came across this women's blog so many months ago, all I know is her story and her journey have captivated me. As I have read her many posts about her beloved Christian I have smiled, wept and gone into my children's room late in the night for an extra kiss.
It was only this past summer that her son, Christian, a 3 year old boy passed away. It was sudden and from what I can gather an accident.
In her very intimate and emotion filled posts one can sense the grief this women and her family are experiencing. Along with that you get a glimpse of a true women of faith and perseverance. Her mind is completely drawn towards heaven and the fact that she will one day be there to hold her precious child.
I have never commented on her posts, only read and admired from afar. It's hard to know what to write to someone who is grieving over a loss that seems incomparable. Through this women's journey I have been challenged in how I would handle a similar situation, even how I handle everyday life stresses and I am humbled. She is walking with grace, joy, pain and hope. She is going to make it, her family will survive this and her story will make us all realize what truly is important.

A nice memory

Here are a few pictures of our last outing with Willow, our dog.

She loved chasing the kids down the hill!


Thank goodness for daddy's, there is no way I would have been able to climb that hill more then once.




What a fun day!!

Maybe a little premature...

This is our bedroom before we painted. I had forgotten to take a picture while our old furniture was in the room, but at least you'll get a glimpse at the before color.
These are the after shots..


We still have to replace all baseboards and trim, get our new bed and bedding, new window treatments, paint the closet doors and then the on suite. Man even thinking of all that makes me realize we've only just begun. Well anyway it's a little glimpse of what we've been doing this weekend. Next time I post it will be the finished product.

So good

This is one of my favorite songs, when I saw that Seal sang it.. wow!

My Turn

Here is my questionnaire extraordinaire...
1) What was the last thing you did before you came online today?
Made a cup of coffee, extra cream, and retreated to my bedroom.
2) Do you prefer a bikini panty or thong? Thongs kind of gross me out. I especially hate them when I am at the gym and some girl is changing and all I see is her butt cheeks with a piece of floss wedged in there... YUCK! Bikini briefs for me.
3) Latest product you've purchased? Bio Oil, it's supposed to help with stretch marks, we'll see...
4) Last book you read? Do instructions to a kids game count, sadly I haven't read a book in quite a while.
5) One childhood memory? I remember getting this really sweet one piece jumpsuit when I was about 8 years old. I was told NOT to wear it to go out to play. I sneaked it on, my friend and I thought it would be a great idea if I put on my roller blades and she would pull me around behind her bike. Of course I fell, put a hole in the knee and was scared spit less. I begged my friends mom to try to sew it together, she said I had to go and tell my mom. The lecture I received about how she wears old clothes and does nothing for herself put me to tears. I have always remembered that.
6) First Kiss? I was in grade 9 and dating a boy a few years older then me. We were at his folks place watching a movie and I could feel him looking at me, so I looked over and he made his move. Wet and sloppy..nasty! I pushed him away and said I should go home now. Funny, I never really heard from him again.
7) What color of nail polish are you wearing? I have turquoise on my toes, I can't seem to keep my fingernails in great shape when they are painted.
8) What are you wearing? Grey workout pants, slippers, and a long sleeved top. My husband loooovvveess this look! :O)
9) Last phone call? I called The Brick ( a furniture store) to see if they would price match a flat screen T.V for us.
10) One New Year's Resolution? Eat more fruit and vegetables.
11) Something new you want to try? I want to start making jewellery.
12) Something you haven't done for a while and want to start up again? You mean besides exercising? Well I want to start knitting again. I find it relaxing.
13) Favorite chocolate bar? Turtles!!
14) Long glamour nails or short nails? I love the look of a manicured hand. Can I do all my chores around the house and keep that look. Nope, I go for the short clean look myself.
15) What color is your bedroom? Cherry red ( this was here when we bought the place) In a couple of days it will be a lovely green though.
16)Favorite season? Easier to say my least favorite, winter. The other three seasons are my favorite.
17) One pet peeve? Elderly drivers.
18) Do you make your bed every morning? ...No?
19) What is the first post you ever wrote about? My first post was in 1995, I guess I was sort of introducing myself to the blogger community.
20) Did you enjoy this questionnaire? Yep!
21) Not done yet, one more thing, post a picture that makes you feel good.

It happened to me

Last year I attended a women's group at a church in my area. It was a great time of fellowship, food and great speakers. There was one speaker in particular, Marlene, who was quirky, cute and had the funniest stories about raising her children.
I have always remembered the time she told about getting stuck in the snow while driving her kids to school. That morning she threw a parka over her housecoat and P.J's, hopped in the vehicle only to get stuck on front of her kid's high school. She told of the horror on her kid's faces as she climbed out of the van, looking crazy, with all their friends watching as she flagged down help.
We all had a great laugh over it, and it has always stuc in my mind to be careful what you wear, you never know.
Well today was the day. I have to say I was dressed but I decided to forgo the socks and boots and just wear my slippers. Everything was fine until we discovered my son had forgotten his snowpants. Seeing that we had a few minutes and that we only live a few blocks from school I decided to pull a U-turn and return home for the snowpants. BIG MISTAKE!!
So there I am stuck, wheels spining, completely cutting off trafic, no mits and slippers. What do I do? So I tell my son to go to school, I hope out of the van and start digging with my hands trying to remove the snow so I can get some traction. By this time five vehicles are at a stop, waiting for me to move my big van and I am not going anywhere. I keep spinning my tires, my feet are frozen as well as my hands. I start to get a momentum going, I feel like I may break free from this ice and snow, and finally, finally a compassionate soul comes and gives me a big push and it's over. I thank her profusley and wave as I drive home taking note I might add that the other vehicles waiting for me to clear the way all are men drivers, not a one asked if I needed help, just waited for me to break free from the snow. Tsk, tsk!
Lesson learned, never leave the house unprepared.

2008 in Review

We decided to just have a night in with the kids, wow no different then any other night. My husband has to be at work for 8am the next day so we played some Wii, bathed our rug rats and tried to have everyone in bed so we could enjoy our Japanese food and a movie. All in all it was a relaxing night, and relaxing is a great way to bring in the new year.
As we were sitting talking we started to reflect on 2008. Here are our reflections:
During this past year we went from being a low income, student family living in a low income housing unit to finally owning a home, being business owners and finally having enough money to breathe.
We went from being a family of four, to a family of four plus one on the way. We've moved away from family and friends and now live in a 'city' (I use the term generously) where we don't really know anybody.
We enrolled our son in public school, we were just about sued by another pharmacy, had extended family issues, found another home for our dog, replaced a furnace, lost control of my bladder and as I am looking down at my exposed belly ( I am watching the baby kicking) I am noticing new wonderful (sarcastic) stretch marks. It's a wonder I am not on some prescription medication.
My hope for 2009? Simple, simplicity.

A little bit of this, a little bit of that...

This week I finally did something very grown up, I purchased a bedroom set. In all my 10 years of marriage I have never had a bedroom set. I tried to buy one with classic lines so in the next 10 years it won't look too dated. So along with my new set, coming today YAY!, we are deciding on paint colors and installing a closet organizer. *when did I become an adult?*
This week I gave up our dog. Do I have regrets? Probably everyday I do. I think to myself, maybe if we tried harder and just stuck it out... oh well I have to keep telling myself she is happier. I received a report from her new owner yesterday. She is living on an acreage, she is playing lots outside and inside with their little puppy, I need to be happy for her and I am. I am just sad for us. One day we will go on a puppy journey again, this time for keeps.
This week I have been dropping subtle, okay maybe not so subtle, hints that I need an upgrade on my wedding ring. We affectionately refer to it as my 'starter'ring. Please don't get me wrong, I love my ring and it holds great memories and sentiment for me, but I am thinking a bigger diamond wouldn't hurt. I have my eye on a white gold solitaire that turns my knees to mush and turns my hubby's stomach because it may be a 'little'pricey, but hey we celebrate our 10 years together this summer!!
This week I need to get groceries. We are living off bread and soup, sad. I just dread going grocery shopping with my two boys. In the town where I live I have to hit a few places to get what we need and dragging two rammy little guys through a shopping center isn't my idea of a pleasant time. It starts out alright, then the pushing and shoving starts, I start threatening and giving the odd, so you can't see, pinch to tell them to smarten up. They start swinging and crawling on anything in sight. Just writing about it has made up my mind I will NOT do that with them today.
And finally this week I reconnected with an old friend. We haven't talked on the phone for 10+ years. She is from my town, grew up here, so when she heard I lived here now she called me and we had a great talk. It surprises how much you can actually miss someone and not know it. We made plans to get together the next time she's in town. Really nice to talk to her again.
So that is my week. Seems like a roller coaster and chaotic, sometimes that's how our weeks go. I think next week I will chill a bit.

I've been tagged

Well this isn't necessarily the 4th photo from my 4th folder, that one was really hazy, so I chose one close to it.
Summer '08 the first summer in our house. This is the one half of my backyard that actually has grass. Our kids had been so bored we purchased them this swingset to help keep them out of my hair a bit. Funny that didn't seem to work :O)

Farewell

This is something I have been wanting for a long time, or so I thought. I know I have complained, probably shed a few tears of frustration over it, and yet now I am shedding tears because I miss her.
Two days ago a very nice man and his wife drove to our little neck of the woods and left with our dog Willow.
When it truly came down to making this decision we waivered quite a bit. This man was interested a few weeks ago and just as I was about to give him the go ahead my dear husband said he just couldn't do it. He promised me we would find a way to make it work, he was going to prepare our enviornment for our dog so we could enjoy her more and I would have less maintanence with her.
Wouldn't you know after resigning myself to this and looking forward to the said changes things at work for my husband have gone crazy. He will be working more and it doesn't look like it will be letting up anytime soon. So our dilema is do we keep our German Shepherd, a poor girl who isn't getting excercised or stimulated much just so we won't miss her? Do we give her to a man who won't stop emailing about her even after we told him no a earlier. I guess the decision finally came when he emailed again and told us he purchased a German Shepherd pup from the breeder our dog was from and that Willow would have an acreage and a friend to play with all the time.
Needless to say I miss her, I didn't think I would but I do. I keep checking my email for pictures and updates of her. It's been a sad few days around here.

My Favorite Things, Oprah eat your heart out!

My dear Flutter posted her favorite things, here is a list of mine.


1) I have found these cleaners to be the bomb!! I have tried other 'green'products and was sorely disappointed, but these clean, there is actual suds when doing dishes. The bathroom all purpose cleaner made my tub sing for joy and I didn't loose a layer of fine nose tissue in the process. Refreshing and mild. Snaps to you Clorox!



2)
When my husband called me from work stating he was picking up a Wii I was a little hesitant. Another gaming system in our house, something ELSE for our kids to fight about. It has turned out to be a wonderful gaming system. It's very interactive and we have a ton of fun playing together as a family. Wii sports is great, it forces you to get up and move. The day after my boxing match on Wii I was stiff and sore, now that normally isn't a good thing, but it was the most exercise I have had in a while. Everything in moderation, right? Snaps to Nintendo, great system!

3)
No this isn't for the bedroom, it's not a torture device, at least not for humans. The choke collar has been a lifesaver, not for me but for my willful, crazy dog. Seeing that the weather is close to -50 degrees that animal is in the house all the time. So you can imagine a German shepherd who is still a puppy, all be it a LARGE puppy, who has energy to boot and with no exercise, she's a disaster. The instant I put this on her big neck she turns into a submissive dog again. So snaps to whomever invented this scary, but wonderful device, without it she may have ended up at the pound.

4) WARNING- this is not for the faint of heart. This sauce with kick you in the stomach and laugh. It brings a unique burning sensation to your mouth and the acid reflux may have you reaching for the Tums. Why would I recommend this, well it has a mouthwatering, vinegary, gingery taste that has me reaching for more. I crave this sauce and eat it on sandwiches. The few seconds before the burning starts to take over, before your sense clear and your nose is running like crazy, before all that there is a moment of satisfaction. It tastes so good- my mouth is watering even writing about it. So if your brave enough to try, have a bowl of ice cream at your side and jump in, yes it may be painful, actually it will be until you build up a tolerance for it. I guarantee you will feel like you may have been transported to a warm tropical island. No I'm not talking about hell, it's before your mouth is engulfed in flames, it's that few seconds of bliss that make it all worth it. So... snaps to President's Choice for making a great sauce!

5)
I received this sheet set for a gift from my folks. Now I wouldn't recommend these for those hot summer night that have us tossing and turning. These sheets are for those cold -50 degrees night kind of like the ones we are experiencing now, damn winter weather. Anyway don't get me started on our COLD Canada winters, these sheets are warm, soft and even luxurious. Yes I will go so far as to say luxurious. My little boy crawled into bed with us one night and asked if I would take these sheets off my bed so he could have them. Of course I told him to forget it, these are mine my friend. So if you suffer with winter like we do you will enjoy this little bit of comfort.

Oh how things have changed

"Here Mommy, let me help you with your boots." came the kind words from my 5 year old today. He is quite protective of me, especially now that I am pregnant. He often will tell his father to be nice because I am a pregnant mommy. He will join me in complaining about the mess the dog makes, often stating that Mommy is pregnant and can't do all the cleaning. He is a sweet boy.
I remember being pregnant with my 1st baby. I remember how careful we were about everything. My husband doted on me, would run out for Burger King at the drop of a hat, rub my ever growing tummy with lotion to prevent stretch marks, and would often play classical music for the baby.
The second pregnancy was a stressful time as we were in the middle of a move. I had pregnancy brain and almost burned down our house. The tummy rubs became less, I now had complaints about having to go out at night for a craving run and the time spent talking to baby, I don't know if we even did that.
Now onto the third baby. Again came at a stressful time, husband starting a new career, we didn't even talk about the baby much for the first while. I don't even take the time to rub my belly with lotion, I think I've played music once for the baby, and I don't even think to ask for a craving run. But tonight, that little voice of my son brought tears to my eyes. You know what, I deserve to be pampered a little bit, and you know what else, it felt good to be pampered, even if he's only 5.
Thanks little guy, you really made me feel cherished today.

1998

I was driving the other day, probably to pick up or drop off one of my kids at something. As I turned on the radio a song played that took me back to the year 1998
At that time I was working at a restaurant as a waitress. I had become pretty good friends with alot of the staff, we hung out after work and had great times together.
On this particular day it was my birthday, I was turning 23, and my boyfriend (my lovely hubby now) was across the country at University. My friends being sweet and taking pity told me they were taking me out to dinner.
We arrived to the packed restaurant, took our seats to get ready to order. All at once our waiter appeared with a guitar and proceeded to serenade me. Everyone stopped and stared, I'm not sure what shade of red I actually turned, but my friends thought it was hilarious. Now the song he sang had to be changed a little, see my eyes aren't brown their blue.
When my friend and waiter were planning this little ditty my friend didn't know off hand what color my eyes were so they came up with a plan. The plan was whatever color my eyes were, he would wear that same color of shirt so when the waiter/singer came up he would know what color to substitute. It was a fun night, one I won't soon forget.
What a great memory!

Inspired

After reading my fellow blogger's post it inspired me to post a little ditty for your viewing pleasure. This song brings me back to riding in an old Chevelle, windows down, dust in my teeth. My brother and I in the backseat, no seat belts, no air conditioning and this song playing on the radio. My mom trying to harmonize, my dad whistling with a toothpick in between his teeth. We were hot, sweaty and dust covered. What a great memory!! Thanks Cocotte for the inspiration!

Product Review

This here product PROMISES a clean sparkly shine. My poor dishes, especially anything with black plastic, have come out looking like they were dusted in baby powder. I am so disappointed in this product.
I am all for being green, and I am trying to do my part, but let me tell you something friends I need my utensils, plates and cups not to look like there is dried milk all over them.
So just a little FYI- this product does NOT work. I am now off to rerun my dishes through using some harsh, chemical ridden cleaner. Do I feel guilty? A little, but my dishes will be clean. :O)

Kegals, shmegals...?

Let me preface this by saying I would have it no other way right now, I am grateful that I am pregnant and I am TRYING to enjoy the journey. TRYING...
Pregnancy this time around has been anything but easy. Now this could be because I am in my 30's, or the fact that I wasn't in the greatest shape to begin with, or maybe because I didn't do that damn kegals that Oprah and Dr. Oz always say we should. My confession is, (whisper) I have a bladder I can't control.
Ever morning I battle vomitting and wetting myself as I am attempting to brush my teeth. My husband finds this to be hilarious. There I am bent over the sink, legs crossed to prevent an áccident, all the while gagging trying to hold back the vomit. The one phrase I keep muttering to myself as I do this dance every morning is, 'this better be a girl.'
The other day as I was crossing a busy intersection with my husband I felt a cough coming on so I had to stop, cross my legs and cough, in the middle of the street as cars are waiting to drive! Yeah it's a big joke to him, Mr. ' as least I don't wet my pants when I cough' guy. Maybe I should do kegals, but they feel weird, and like I don't have enough to do.
Maybe I'll just invest in some pantyliners, that's what they are for right?

100 Thoughts!!!

I just realized this is my 100th post! YAY!!! What do I win??
Blogging has been a great outlet for me over the past few years. Before blogging was I used to keep journals to record my thoughts, adventures and special moments. Seeing how the pen and paper has become obsolete, and because I am soooo with it technology wise (NOT) I thought blogging would be a great alternative.
So cheers to the first 100 posts, here's to the friends who care enough to tune in, it's been a great ride so far.

Just Because

Just because we were discussing it this past weekend, and just because Flutter posted it on her blog as being one of her favorites. Here are my pics, just for you, just because...

The Door:

HOT, HOT, HOT!!!


No Air

Goosebumps~

Are Those Pants Painted On??

" I am finding it hard to concentrate with her here." , " If I was 30 years younger!" These are a few of the comments my husband has told me about regarding a employee at his pharmacy. These comments came from a younger married man, the later from an older married man in his late 60's.
Now the girl seems nice enough, she's a single mom in her late 20's. I guess my question is why would you want to walk around in painted on Lulu Lemon pants all day? And it's not just some days, it's everyday! Then I thought to myself, maybe she can't afford a simple pair of black pants from Walmart. Nope, that can't be it because Lulu Lemon pants are over $100.
My husband says she thinks quite highly of herself, and has a tad of a reputation. I personally don't get it. You can still show off your figure in a classy way without being able to see every dimple and indent of your butt.
Anyway she will be talked to by one of the female management team soon so the men can get back to work. I mean would you want a pharmacist with one eye counting your meds while the other is feasting on the back end of a single mom?? I don't think so!

Ëverything's amazing, and nobody's happy!

"
My husband and I watched this together and boy did it spark a discussion. I see myself reflected in much of the anecdote's and jokes that he's telling. To stop, I mean really stop, and think about what we are experiencing, the technology that is around us would truly have baffled us 30 years ago.
How do we slow down enough to appreciate what is around us? How do we go from being a people that think the world owes us, to asking how we can contribute?
Our conversation took on many thoughts, thoughts about our own life, how we want to live and leave our footprint on this planet.
Questions have been asked, conversations have begun and we are still searching. I believe the desire with those I've conversed with, be it friends or family, to simplify and live a less busy life is there. How do we do it when the world is spinning around us?
Gotta do more, gotta get more. More toys, bigger houses, more cars, trips ect. How does one step off this ride and just be?
For me, I think there needs to be a center to which we cling to, an idea or philosophy. If we do stray from that which we hold dear major upheaval needs to happen in order to re-align ourselves once again. Simply put, not so simple.

"Life is one long struggle to disinter oneself, to keep one's head above the accumulations, the ever deepening layers of objects ... which attempt to cover one over, steadily, almost irresistibly, like falling snow."
~Rose Macaulay

Ticked

This has happened a few times when I've taken my two young boys to the grocery store. As I am going to pay for our items I notice them pointing and commenting on how gross "something" is. They are at eye level with either a men's magazine or an exercise magazine with a scantily clad woman striking a provocative pose.
Now I am not a prude, I know sex sells. What I am opposed to is my two innocent children having to be eyeball to eyeball with some 18 year old baring all.
I complained at one 7-11 store, we called the head office and they apologised and the next time we frequented the establishment it was covered by a plastic shield. So good for them, I guess.

Half Way There..

This is what my baby looks like at this time. I am 20 weeks pregnant, half way there, it's hard to believe.
Seeing how the first half of my pregnancy was a little rough, I am gearing up for the last half to be much more ideal. You see I had all these expectations and aspirations of how I was going to try to be more fit this time around. In my previous two pregnancies I didn't go to the gym once. Pathetic, and now I see myself falling into the same trap. Today I went to the gym for the first time since seeing the two pink lines appear. It felt a little strange seeing that I am tummy heavy, or should I say heavier.. :O) While on the bike I became dizzy after about 10 minutes so I opted to leave, then changed my mind and did my leg work out.
Now I know I can't turn back the scale at this point, sad as that is, but I am hoping to S-L-O-W down the fast rise of the numbers.
So here's to the first 20 weeks being full of surprises and nausea, and here's hoping the last 20 are full of good surprises, lots of laughter and lack of stretch marks.

Intervention??

It's sad but true. I was able to kick the habit once, a few summers ago. I went through the with drawls of headaches, grumpiness and fatigue. After a few days I was free, and to be honest the smell of coffee turned me off big time. One major benefit was that I was loosing weight, probably due to the lack of coffee cream running through my cream coated arteries.
Knowing all these benefits why oh why did I fall off the wagon? It started slowly, once the colder weather started the idea of something warm and sweet slowly started to become appealing. It only took a couple of days and I was hooked and have been for a few years now.
I woke up this morning with a killer headache, I popped 3 advil and it took the edge off, but it was still lingering. I tried to hold out, tried to resist because I am pregnant and I know coffee isn't the best, but I caved. The lingering headache had me running to the coffee maker like a drug addict needs a hit. ( okay I know it isn't that bad, I am just trying to paint a picture) Anyhow my body is feeling in sync, my headache is gone and my stomach is full of coffee and cream. Will I ever kick this habit.

Cynical?

My husband has just opened a pharmacy in the city we live in. Due to the fact that this "City" - and I use the word LOOSELY, it's more of a village with a Walmart attached - is out of the way and not close to anything remotely appealing we are having a heck of a time finding pharmacists to want to move here.
We have been relying on relief pharmacists from surrounding towns, and sometimes provinces away to come work for short bouts of time. The one we had in this week was a real character- and I mean that is a strange/mentally unbalanced way. He had problems with having to ring customers with prescriptions through the till, thought it was beneath him. He had countless confrontations with front store staff, and when questioned it was always someone else's fault.
One morning he called us from the hotel he was at, cursing a blue streak saying he just about knocked the F*#@% manager's head off because they accused him of inviting staff into the hot tub.
Well due to so many confrontations, and corrections my husband finally told him it wasn't working and he had to go. We expected and scene and weren't disappointed.
This morning he called my husband to apologise for his actions stating that his 13 year old daughter has been missing since the day before he started working for us, and that he normally isn't this CRAZY~~~
Call me cynical, but I don't buy it. I am a parent, if my daughter was missing I would be glued my family awaiting her return.
So do you think I am cynical or is it maybe women's intuition??? I don't know, my husband is inclined to think it's true, but honestly what parent would take off for work in another province. He is a well to do guy, I don't think they are lacking for money. In my opinion he is trying to make excuses and put the blame somewhere else. Always the victim it seems.

Troubled

I have had this conversation with many people, this notion keeps running through my head. There are days I try to justify it, think I can limit it, yet I keep being drawn back to this idea. It's nothing deep and intellectual, it's about video games and the role they are playing with today's kids. Most importantly my kids.
I have to admit I like to indulge them, I don't watch our time limit and before you know it my 6 and 4 year old have been gaming for an hour at a time. I have become lethargic, slowly allowing 10 more minutes until hours slip by.
I often will tell my kids about what I used to do with my friends growing up. We were outside all the time. Bike riding, playing kick the can, making forts, just playing. I want that for my kids, and all I see most days is them on the T.V , computer or Nintendo. It's up to me I know, I know it is.
We have been going back and forth about getting our son a D.S. I fought it, but he loves it, and there are educational games, we travel alot and it's something for him to do on those long drives.
Tonight my little 4 year old had another migraine, I try to think about what may be triggering these painful, awful headaches that have him crying, clammy, and vomiting. I often wonder if it's the video games, all the flashing lights,and fast movement.
After a night like tonight I think that for what a Nintendo D.S is worth one could sure buy a lot of toys. Toys that trigger imagination, play and movement. I want my kids to have a childhood full of fantasy, using their minds and bodies to role play. I feel like they are being robbed of that and it bothers me.
I am disturbed tonight.

Women's Work

This is one scene from a movie that totally undoes me EVERY TIME!


Post a clip or write about a movie that has impacted you.

My Miso

Every Wednesday my boys head to a local church for a kids club. And as much as I love the fact that they are learning about God and memorizing some scripture, I really love that my husband and I have a date night every Wednesday. We don't have to arrange for a sitter, everything is covered.
Tonight we decided to go to a Japanese restaurant for a quiet supper. The food was wonderful and plentiful. The conversation was relaxed and best of all no interruptions from two little boys.
So that was my night, and after a few hours alone with my honey, two doggy bags full of great food, I was ready to rejoin the chaos that is my life.

Ok... 6 things I'm hooked on!

#1 I'm hooked on my husband. I know it sounds soooo cheesy, but unfortunately it's true. I seem to have become more co-dependant on him as the years go by. I don't feel 'normal' when I'm away from him, I miss him even after a day. A-hem.. let's move on.
#2 My kids of course. They drive me C.R.A.Z.Y almost on a minute by minute basis, but their my 'little treasures' and I'd be rather ordinary without them.
#3 Reality T.V. Especially the ones that no one wants to admit they watch. The Hills, Bachelor, Life of Ryan ect.. it's a guilty pleasure.
#4 Flip Flops. Need I say more??
#5 Hot n'Spicy food. I love unique, zesty, mouthwatering food. Especially West Indian and Thai... bring it on baby!
#6 Sangria. I love Sangria, especially from a certain restaurant in a particular city. Love it.

Welcome back!

You know who this is for. Welcome Back.

I'm bored!!

Need I say more? I am husband-less for the next while, I miss my man.

Make a Smilebox photobook

Sukkot 2008

This Sukkot is extra special for me this year. This year we actually have our own Sukkah to dwell in for the next 7 days. Due to circumstances of the previous years we always borrowed other people's sukkah's to 'dwell' in for a quick meal, but not this year.

What a lovely thing it is to watch your children play, eat and hang out in our own Sukkah. I believe we all will understand just a little more about Sukkot this year, what it means to remember the temporary dwelling that the Israelites dwelt in while in the dessert. So here are some pics of our first night of Sukkot!!

Turn, Turn, Turn

This has been a season of change in our family. New job, new city, upcoming baby, another new job... the list goes on and on. Life seems to constantly be changing, evolving Some days ,as I am exhaling, I think when has enough change happened, can't we just be still.
I have seen families torn apart, lost family members, heard of children dying, witnessed people whom I thought I knew acting in ways unbecoming. Daily another change comes, a big change, and I am tired.