I wasn't tagged... I just copied

3 Things - Flutter posted her 3 things, I enjoyed reading it, I too am in a bit of slump so here goes. And remember Flutter, copying is the highest form of flattery. :O)

3 Things that scare me:
1) something happening to my kids/husband
2) disease
3) mice

3 People who make me laugh:
1) My hubby of course
2) Jamie (good friend)
3) my kiddo's

3 Things I Love:
1) nice earrings
2) summer
3) cute shoes

3 Things I hate:
1) crowds
2) dirty kitchen
3) acid reflux

3 Things I don't understand:
1) people who don't want to help themselves
2) sudoku
3) chemistry

3 Things on my desk:
1) scented candle
2) plant
3) scraps of paper

3 Things I am doing right now:
1) Trying to ignore the T.V show that is on right now because it's violent
2) Rubbing my belly, the baby is kicking up quite a fuss at the moment.
3) Hating this insane acid reflux.... Ohhhh it burns!

3 Things I want to do before I die:
1) Go with my family to Israel
2) Take a train ride through BC
3) Loose all the pregnancy fat I have been carrying around for, oh let see, 7 years!

3 Things I can do:
1) Play guitar
2) Twirl a pen between my fingers
3) Understand investing... well sort of.

3 Things I think you should listen to:
1) Yourself
2) Classical guitar
3) One of my favorite songs...


3 Things I don't think you should listen to ever:
1) A colicky baby
2) Negative people who just want to bring you down
3) Gangsta music

3 of my absolute favorite foods:
1) West Indian food
2) Sushi
3) Panini's

3 Things I'd like to learn:
1) Japanese cooking
2) Hebrew
3) Photography

3 Beverages I drink regularly:
1) Water.....luv water
2) Wine... oh I miss wine
3) Cafe mocha's ... YUM

3 Shows I watched when I was a kid:
1) Duke's of Hazard
2) Three's Company
3) Smurfs

It's starting to set in..

I am starting to get freaked out about labour. I have done it twice before, I know it's not a joy ride. I am not one of those lucky three women in the world, who I've read about, that had an orgasmic labour mine are painful, exhausting and scary just as I am sure yours have been.
With my first I was terrified because I had never experienced it before. All I know is I wanted the pain to go away any way possible. The epidural did that for me and for that I will be eternally grateful.
Just before giving birth the second time I came across an article pretty much stating that fear is where the real pain comes from. Your body gets tense and won't relax, and when that happens the contraction become more painful. They advised seeing the contraction as a large muscle that is being worked at hard like when your at the gym. It's your muscles doing their job to push the baby out.
That article was stuck in my head and I really believe it helped me during the second labour as I could visualize this large muscle working hard to push out the baby.
Even knowing all this panic is starting to set in. Labour is definitely on my mind but it's all the changes that will come after. No sleep... AUGH! I have had wonderful full night rests for years, how am I going to handle little to no sleep again??
How am I going to handle 3 kids? Will I be horrible to the other two older kids as I am adjusting to being a mom to a newborn again?
I know I am complaining....I feel bad about it, but these thoughts really overtake me sometimes. I feel so over being pregnant. I didn't have the aches and pains like I have experienced with this baby. Tonight I was trying to clean up the kitchen, I had shooting, sharp pains in my lower back and leg so I crawled into bed with a hot water bottle. When my husband came to find me I started crying because I am so frustrated with my body. We have been living on hamburger and pasta because I have constant contractions when I am grocery shopping and I can't get a full grocery.
Sorry, I am feeling whipped tonight I guess. Sometimes you just have to vent and lucky you guys get to be my audience. Sorry.
I'm sure I'll feel better tomorrow.

The Love Dare

I had watched a review of 'Fireproof' on Dr.Phil this past summer. I would venture to say that once I realized Kirk Cameron was the lead actor in the show, and that it had a religious element to it, I sort of disregarded it. I had seen previous work by Kirk Cameron in the Left Behind series and wasn't too impressed. I thought this show would be poorly acted and maybe a bit cheesy.
I was pleasantly surprised at how much I enjoyed the movie. I laughed and cried and felt convicted while watching this struggle that went on between a man and his wife. The selfishness and bitterness that had festered in this relationship had me looking at myself, wondering where I might harbour the same feelings.
No marriage is perfect and sometimes it's so easy to keep record of the other persons rights and wrongs. To see what is lacking, all the short comings can be all we focus on, and yes some grievances are legitimate and maybe some of his are also.
I think what I really learned from this show is in the end disappointments will come in life. People will always let us down in one way or the other, spouses included. It's so easy to let arguments take over, issues about who did what to whom and why, we can go around in circles asking ourselves how did we get here, how do we get off this merry go round of accusation and find a solution? How do we find peace?
This movie points out that to give love, we first have to receive love from God. To know that we are loved in our weakest state, to know there is forgiveness for all our mistakes.I'm not a preacher, I'm not trying to preach, but I feel like I had a bit of a revelation tonight.
My marriage has it's ups and downs, things can feel overwhelming sometimes, finger pointing happens and it never solves anything because whether it be the next day, the next week or in a few weeks I will disappoint my husband yet again, and he me. At which point do we start our finger pointing yet again, have another argument, yet again? It's exhausting and futile.
Perhaps not going to that place of judgement and instead walking in understanding and forgiveness. To crush down that first instinct to become offended and defensive to embrace loving that person. Wow even writing this is hard because it so goes against what some of my first instincts are. Maybe that's a good thing....
Have I reached a new level of Zen in my life?? HARDLY!! This will be going against myself in such a harsh way I may have a half chewed up tongue from biting it so hard when all I want to do is assert myself and my rights to my spouse.
All I know is finger pointing, and listing off eachther's faults and shortcomings isn't working. Maybe walking in love, working it out with forgiveness sprinkled with a healthy portion of grace will work.
Fireproof is a movie worth watching, the acting isn't the best, but it has one of the best messages I've seen in a movie in a very long time.
Here is a trailer for the movie...

Quotes of the day..

"Grow up and be a man, stop hurting the woman who loves you."
"Dig deep, grow the hell up, and be in this relationship"

Private Practice had some good ones tonight.

Breastfeeding

Today as I was watching TLC's Bringing Home Baby show they showed the mother breastfeeding her baby. This little baby is nestled up close to it's mother, big brown eyes looking up while he's suckling and the mother is rubbing his face and head. What a beautiful picture.
With my first baby I was so insecure about breastfeeding, as I am sure most new mother's are. I had so many friends that talked about THE NIGHT thier milk came in, how it was squirting across the room, how their young babies were choking on the heavy flow of this creamy milk. I never had that experience, and because I never did I didn't trust my body that it was making enough. I ended up suplimenting and eventually my oldest son soon learned that milk comes instantly from a bottle where as with mommy I have to work to get it to come. At four young months old my first born was done breastfeeding. Oh I tried to get him back on, and after many days of trying he and I were both crying and frustrated. I was so sad to say good bye to that special time, it was so hard at first, so painful and after all that effort we were done.
With my second I went in a bit more confident. I actually do remember THE MORNING when my milk came in, I actually was wet all down my PJ's. I remember sighing a sigh of relief thinking that this is how I now know my milk is in. I ended up breastfeeding my son for 2 years. I was amazed it went that long, I actually thought that if I can make it to at least six months this time I will feel like I'd succeeded.
My second child caught on quick, I was more confident and I wasn't feeling too tied down with him wanting to nurse for that long of a time. Eventually, I believe it was right after he turned 2 years old, he was done. Again I was a little sad, mostly ready myself for independace, but I knew I would miss it and I did. But life goes on as it should.
Now preparing for my third child to be born within a few months I feel the desire coming back, a longing for that sort of bonding experience with my new baby. In my opinion there is nothing more special then that little body so close, making eye contact and just being there to enjoy to experience.
Let me also say I am not looking forward to cracked nipples, again, maybe mastitis, feeding the child every hour around the clock, oh man I am psyching myself out now. I know it's hard, but maybe just like child birth and all the pain and labouring we do to bring forth new life, we do forget and we do it again, and we think of it as the greatest day of our lives is the way I view breastfeeding.
Now let me add I know breastfeeding isn't for everyone. Some choose not to, some find it too difficult, inverted nipples, ect... At the end of the day we all bond with our babies whether it's by breastfeeding or bottle feeding. I am just saying for me it was a positive thing for my family, and I am looking forward to it again.

Good Fences Make Good Neighbours

In the past there seemed to be an ongoing theme in most of my friendships, I was the one who listened while everyone talked and dumped out all their feelings or problems to me. I have read books about this and had some council on this from valued older friends who gave great advice, especially my husband. Realizing now that I don't have to solve, or try to solve people's problems I feel like I may have gone from being a doormat to steering clear of people that seem to have no filter.
The last crazy 'friendship' I had that was from a girl who I had met once before, we seemed to hit it off so we decided to go for coffee together. She ended up pouring out her marital problems, crazy religious experiences, you get the picture. I ended up coming home feeling totally drained and sick. My husband went on to tell me to end it immediately. So I avoided her and I think she got the picture, finally.
I sometimes feel like I have the words 'dump here' tattooed on my forehead.
Anyway I have tried to steer clear of those relationships and I feel like the girlfriends in my life now are great and we share things back and forth. I love my girlfriends (NO this is not about any of you guys).
Recently I have come across a new relationship with a lady here in my town, she has been very helpful to me since we've come here, but she is completely draining! She talks and talks and doesn't stop. We go from hearing one problem to the next, there are times when she has forgotten what she told me an hour earlier and will go on to explain the whole thing again. I feel frustrated by her, I dread when she calls me because I know what the conversation is going to be like and for how LONG it will be.
I don't want to hurt her feelings, she's a nice lady, but come on, I don't have enough hours in the day to sit and listen to someone ranting and raving, nor do I want to sit and be dumped on.
We are planning to go out for coffee this week, as you can tell I am not looking forward to it, I will just have to man up and try to control the conversation as best as I can.
I'm frustrated.....

Small Successes

I came across this idea from another Blogger's site. I've tweaked it a bit to make it my own and to fit my idea of what I want to write about. Gratitude Friday is about writting about the small success we as moms have had throughout the week. To focus on the positive little things we've accomplished. Here are my 3 small successes:

1. Decorated the house for Valentine's Day. It is important to me to make certain day's fun and exciting for the kids so they'll have memories to look back on with a smile. I plastered pink and red hearts on our windows, made them surprise Valentine's Day buckets full of chocolates and small toys. It is even more fun for me to do something fun/a little embarrasing for my husband so I put together an adult fun bag just for us!!

2. I made all our meals from scratch this week. Being pregnant and feeling tired alot of the time the temptation to eat out more then we should is a constant battle of mine. This week I was able to push past the fatigue and cook some homeade meals, 2 of which were fish, now that NEVER happens.

3. We've been fairly consistent in our before bed devotionals with the boys. Most nights I am counting down the minutes till their sweet, argumentative heads hit the pillows. Fortunately, or maybe unfortunately , I have two little male voices constantly reminding me that we HAVE to do devotionals as a family before bed. So I throw my agenda to the side and we do devotionals, and we love doing it! :O)

These are my small succcesses for the week, and I'm proud of them. I'd love to hear yours if you feel like writing about it!

Sillyness

Yes I am a little stumped as to what to blog about today, this is just for fun. If you want to be tagged go ahead and do it, let me know. Cheers!

1. YOUR REAL NAME: sorry, this is the web after all....
2. WITNESS PROTECTION NAME:(mother and fathers middle names): Josephine Gerard
3. NASCAR NAME:(first name of your mother's dad, father's dad): Joseph Raymond
4. STAR WARS NAME:(the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name): Jobjo
5. DETECTIVE NAME:(favorite color, favorite animal): Olive Kitty
6. SOAP OPERA NAME:(middle name, town where you were born): Dawn Regina
7. SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd fav color, fav drink, add "THE" to the beginning): The Blue Margarita
8. FLY NAME:(first 2 letters of 1st name, last 2 letters of your last name): Jose
9. STREET NAME:(fav ice cream flavor, fav cookie): Chocolate Ginger Snaps
10. SKANK NAME: (1st pet's name, street you grew up on): Gin-Gin James
11. GANGSTA NAME:(first 3 letters of first name plus 'izzle'): Jodizzle!
12. YOUR GOTH NAME:(black, and the name of one of your pets): Black Willow
13. STRIPPER NAME: (name of your fav perfume/cologne, fav candy): Moondance Turtles

A Milestone of Sorts... I Suppose

Yesterday my husband came home from work, gave me the once over and made a comment only a husband would make.
" I can tell you are getting far along in your pregnancy because the size of your tummy actually makes your huge boobs look small." Thanks hon, REAL sweet! :O)
Just for clarification, my breasts may be bigger then before kids, we all know that happens, but let's just say my body has been a bit overly generous with fat distribution in that area over the last few years. Something I hope exercise and perhaps a 'boob job' will rectify. Oh to go back to a B cup... lovely.

Catch Up Weekend

This past weekend some old friends of ours came for a visit. It has been years since I've seen them, although my husband has had more opportunities to visit them then I.
Sometime ago, due to our differences in belief, a strain had been put on the relationship. I was over zealous in sharing my thoughts and my friend became offended. I had apologised but truly things were never quite the same since. We recently reconnected via email. She had actually wrote me in a bit of a confrontational manner asking if we wanted them out of their lives. Long story short there had been some miscommunication over the Internet and feelings were unintentionally hurt. (can you imagine miscommunication over email... NEVER)
Because of all the drama that had gone on this weekend was important because both of our families wanted to come together and reconnect.
We ended up having a great time, lots of talking and catching up and it feels like time has never passed really. We still have our differences and they are very obvious, but I think we've both mellowed out and realized it isn't worth debating any longer.
Our kids got along so nicely so we will be doing this again once our baby is born. Here are a few pics of the kids having fun.

From the Mouths of Babes

You have to wonder if God is trying to teach you a lesson. Maybe, or shall I say quite probably, I am too busy with my busyness that I don't take the time to be quiet and reflect on what I am doing. Maybe that still small voice that is attempting to capture my attention is being blocked out by the T.V, computer, what have you I suppose you get my drift.
Tonight as I am trying to be a fun mommy, I decided to take my boys out to dinner. As we were driving I was behind an older gentleman driver, and if I can put it nicely, was taking his sweet time. So I made a rather rude comment, something along the lines of, "C'mon grandpa, pick it up."
My youngest then asks me if I love my neighbour? I kind of know what he's talking about but I go ahead and ask him what he means. My oldest son pipes up and tells me it's about loving people. (punch in the gut!) My youngest then quotes a Bible verse to me about loving your neighbour as yourself. So as I continue driving feeling like a total schmuck my youngest goes on to tell me, in his sweet little voice, that I wasn't being very nice to that older man.
Feeling like I had been thoroughly been put in my place I told them they were right and I shouldn't be rude because the Bible tells us to treat others how we want to be treated.
This is one lesson I won't soon forget.

A Lovely Night

As I have mentioned I just turned 34, wow, honestly when I was 20 years old 34 seemed like middle age. So naive I was... I really feel quite young or I did until getting pregnant. This pregnancy is showing me my age, I have aches and pains I don't remember having with my other two. All in all though I feel like I am entering the best part of my life. To think of going back to my early 20's holds absolutely no appeal to me, all the angst and drama of trying to figure out life and who I am, no thanks. Been there, done that, have the battle scars to prove it.
This year my husband took it upon himself to plan my birthday celebration all on his own. He ended up getting us a reservation at a very nice steak house, invited my parents and we had a great time. Then came my present!! For years I have talked about photography and possibly taking a class so I could get better. Well considering we were students any camera was pretty much a luxury we couldn't afford, especially a high quality one. He kept the notion in his head that one day we may be able to afford one and that is exactly what I received. A beautiful Sony camera along with an extra lens. This camera is quite a beauty and I am excited to use it, except I don't really know how to yet. The manual and I have a date for tonight.
Jay, thank you for a fun, exciting night that I will always remember. I should also thank my boys for behaving pretty good in a swanky restaurant, it was refreshing not to have to seperate them or threaten them with bodily harm if the whinning doesn't stop. :O)

Random Act of Kindness

Melissa used to be my sons preschool teacher. She was wonderful and loved working with the children. A few months into the school year she suddenly decided to stop working at the preschool for some very personal reasons. We were all so sad to hear that she wouldn't be around anymore as the kids really loved and missed her, but wished her well.
A few months after she left my husband told me she had come by the pharmacy looking for work. She ended up telling him why she left the preschool and that she feels ready to try something completely new. She was placed in the cosmetics dept. and is a wonderful employee for us now!!
We have run into each other quite a bit and she always asks how my little guy is doing in preschool. I tell her it's not the same, and we really aren't too happy with it in general. Upon hearing that she one night turned up at my house with all her Montessori manuals, she also had written out a bunch of work book ideas to do with my youngest to keep him going with where she left off. This girl is a real sweetheart.
One night as we were out for supper I commented to her how good she smelt and asked what perfume she was wearing. She told me and said she thought it may be discontinued which was too bad because she really like it also.
This morning before my husband left for work he said Melissa gave me a gift for you. So I went into his bag to retrieve it, and it was a new bottle of that perfume. I was and am so shocked! I will be calling her later to thank her for being so kind to me.
I have some perfume on now and I'm loving how it smells, and every time I smell this scent I will remember her and her thoughtfulness.

25 Things you may not know about me....

The lovely Flutter tagged me on facebook so I am responding to her tag, here goes...

1) Today is my birthday, I am 31..okay just kidding, I'm 34 (yikes)
2) I used to write poetry and I was asked to publish a piece many moons ago.
3) I was mugged when I was overseas, thankfully he dropped my wallet while he was running away and I grabbed it... JERK!
4) I can flip my eyelids.. it's kinda gross and cool all at once.
5) I had to have both 2nd toes operated on because the bone was growing wrong.
6) I was once put on the wrong city bus by my grandpa when I was 5 and ended up downtown in our city when I was supposed to be at my school.
7) I fell out of a moving vehicle when I was a kid, I was wanting to open the door before we came to a stop so I could be the first one out before my brother... I guess it worked. :O)
8) I was run over when I was 1 year old. Obviously I survived.
9) I stole a Raggedy Ann ring from a store when I was 6.
10) I used to be obsessed with Josh Brolin.
11) I play guitar.
12) When I am nervous I will pick at my fingers.
13) I used to want to be a Pink Lady, you know from Greece.
14) I watched the movie Sybil when I was a kid and it freaked me out for years.
15) I used to sneak out of my room and run around with my friends in our town.
16) While dating my one boyfriend I secretly had a major crush on his older brother and used any excuse to be around him.
17) I've swam in the Red Sea.
18) I enjoy crafty things.
19) I have a third nipple.... just kidding, making sure your paying attention here.
20) I love white tulips.
21) I used to work in a flower shop.
22) I prefer my toenails painted.'
23) I like popping zits... gross I know.
24) I wish I was brave enough to get a Brazilian.
25) I wish I had something interesting to blog about tonight.

So I am officially tagging Cocotte, and Waugdai!